Why Kids Need to Feel They Belong in Order to Effectively Learn

Kids want to feel they belong and feel known by the people in their lives. Teachers are often the people kids spend the most time with over the course of their school careers.

Behind the curtains, educators are often debating what the most important skills are for kids to have as we enter an entirely new learning landscape. Its gone a little like this: 

“Math! Science! Wait… STEM! Coding! We can’t keep up with the rest of the world if we don’t teach kids how to code and how to think scientifically!”

And then:

“Reading, Writing! If kids can’t communicate properly, how will they demonstrate their thinking?” 

“History! Learning about our past helps us to not repeat these devastating mistakes!

“Empathy! We need our kids to be able to walk in someone else’s shoes and imagine what someone else might be feeling!” 

(There are actually a shocking number of people and whole states who seem to think this doesn’t matter by the way…)

The Social-Emotional-Academic Dance

The thing is, these things do, of course, matter. But what many overlook in this situation is that kids inherently need to feel they belong, that they are seen and known, before they are able to internalize any of these other skills.

A company working to end homelessness in kids, called Positive Tomorrows, has this relevant graphic on their website. It’s an education-based example of Maslow’s hierarchy of needs and it demonstrates this idea beautifully in a simple graphic.

Feelings actually do matter 

I am an educator. I’ve been in classrooms and schools from pre-K all the way to 12th grade for the better part of my adult life. I think that, actually, all of these skills are pretty important for our kids in order to become well-rounded, reasonable, critical thinkers AND feelers. 

And also…

What my 15-year teaching career has driven home most for me, is this one very important thing that many overlook: zero kids are learning if:

• they are uncomfortable, feel less than, or like they don’t have a place–or belonging– in their school community. they feel unseen.
• they feel misunderstood.
• they feel no one knows who they are or no one likes them or cares about what happens to them. 

If they feel they don’t BELONG. 

Belonging is maybe the most important aspect for a child’s success in school and beyond. Let me say that again for the people in the back: 

Belonging is the most important aspect for a child’s success in school and beyond.

Full Stop. 

Or even your entire school community.

Interested in more? Stay tuned to find out how you can cultivate this belonging in your school and create the learning environment all kids need and deserve.